Pixie Stargirl

"When a stargirl cries, she sheds not tears but light." —Jerry Spinelli


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23rd

Salamat sa mga taong bumati sa aking kaarawan. Pasalamat sa Facebook na pinaalala sa inyong kaarawan ko. Napakahirap ng nagdaang taon para sa akin—maraming nawala, maraming iniwanan, maraming ka-leche-han na nangyare, at maraming beses na gusto ko na lang maglaho. Pero sa magulong panahon natin ngayon na pinagbibidahan ng mga ka-DDS, ni Mocha, ng mga natokhang, ng mala-teleseryeng politika, ng online trolls at keyboard warriors, nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa mga pagkakataong nagpapaalala sa’kin na maswerte pa rin pala ako. Salamat sa mga (iilang) tunay na taong nagtatyaga sa’kin kahit ako na mismo ang lumalayo, di kayo nagsasawa sa akin. Napatunayan ko kung sino at ano talaga ang tunay sa nagdaang taon. Salamat.

Bente tres na po ako. Magulo pa rin buhay ko, parang buhok ko. Di na ko umaasang tatangkad pa ko. Di bale, cute pa rin.

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S01E05

Sa simula pa lang, alam ko nang mahirap ang sitwasyon na pinasok natin. Parati tayong malayo sa isa’t isa, at ilang buwan na naman ang bibilangin natin bago tayo magkitang muli. At oo, madalas nahihirapan ako sa ganitong setup. Ngunit sa bawat isang reklamo ko na malayo ka, binibigyan mo ko ng mas maraming dahilan para mas maging matatag pa. Di ako pasensyosa, alam mo yan, pero para sa iyo kakayanin kong maghintay. Namimiss kita lagi, pero kakayanin ko kasi alam kong kinakaya mo rin. Dalangin ko ang mas malawak pang pang-unawa (para sa akin, para mas matindihan ko pa) at pasensya (para sa’yo, sa tuwing tinotopak ako). Ingat ka lagi dyan. Mahal kita!

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Book Review: “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown

The Lost Symbol (Robert Langdon, #3)The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

Format: Hardbound, 509 pages
Rating: ★★★★★

Notorious worldwide for blurring the line between fact and fiction, best-selling author Dan Brown continued the adventures of Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon in this third book. The novel centers about one of the oldest and most mysterious brotherhood—the Freemasonry, along with its many “secrets”—making The Lost Symbol an enthralling and gripping novel difficult to put down.

Da Vinci Code created quite a stir when the movie adaptation was shown in the Philippines (and around the world, I believe), being a Christian country dominated by Catholics. Meanwhile, I have read the Angels & Demons nearly two years ago, and I could say that it was one of the most engrossing novels I have ever read. I have not yet read the Da Vinci Code when I read The Lost Symbol though (but I’ve already read it now), but I have watched the DVC movie after reading A&D, and I pretty liked it (though I find some of the parts hard to understand, so I think it’s better if I could read it). Then, a friend let me borrow her hardbound copy of The Lost Symbol, and having had a good experience from Dan Brown’s A&D, I immediately immersed myself to it.

In Angels & Demons, Dan Brown explored the secret society of Illuminati. Da Vinci Code is an international sensation because of its plot about Jesus’ alleged romantic relationship with Mary Magdalene. This time, in The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown crafted another compelling story by divulging the fraternal organization of Freemasonry. Being an old and exclusive brotherhood, Freemasonry—in reality—has a lot of controversies in its name, followed by countless conspiracy theories.

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The Sunday Currently #3

In an attempt to keep my blog active, I’m doing another The Sunday Currently post. Haha, sorry, I actually have lots of topics in mind that I wanna talk about but I guess I’m too lazy to organize my thoughts right now. I promise I’ll try to post more religiously here now that I’m not doing so much lately.

READING

I am actually on a reading stump lately! I’m not doing much since I’m done with my undergraduate classes and I’m just on freelance jobs so I handle my own time; but I don’t know, I’m not as conscientious in reading books compared to last year. And I’m 8 books behind my reading challenge, considering that I didn’t even set my goal that high in this year’s reading challenge.

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Anyway, to try to read more, I download ebooks in my phone so I can read whenever possible. I’m currently reading Ransom Riggs’ Miss Peregrine Home for Peculiar Children, which I’ve been wanting to read for years. I actually wanna read it as physical copy because it has pictures, but since that movie adaptation of the book would be coming to theaters soon I decided I’d have to content myself with the ebook. Good thing the copy that I’ve downloaded was good.

WRITING

As I’ve told you above, I have lots of things I wanna right about but I’m just not in the mood for it. Most of the writers I know are saying that in writing, you don’t really wait for a muse, you make your own muse and write even though you don’t feel like doing it. I swear I’m gonna improve my writing this year especially that I wanna join some writing workshops next year, but I’m working on my motivation to do so.

Anyway, I’m feeling particularly artsy lately and I went back to lettering. I started calligraphy/lettering last year but I somehow got busy so I didn’t have time for it. But now that I have time in my hands, I’m up making words in creative visuals.

I feel that somehow, I’ve kinda improved compared to my works when I was just starting. I also started using watercolor as my medium which is really cool! I feel more comfortable in using waterbrushes that brush pens. I can’t still get the hang in lettering with brush pens, so I’m trying to improve my skills in watercolor lettering.

LISTENING

Oh, for the past months I’ve been hooked with indie Pinoy bands! Current favorites are SUD, Ang Bandang Shirley, and Jensen and the Flips. Their songs are really awesome! You know, their albums are always in my playlist lately.

WATCHING

Game of Thrones season 6 finished in June (amazing ending!!)and I was done binge-watching the Orange is the New Black Season 4 (what the heck was the that? huhu) , so I’m not watching any series lately. But I’m planning to start Mr. Robot. Also, I’ve been regularly watching YouTube videos especially Buzzfeed‘s YouTube channels and also Emergency Awesome for commentary on geek shows.

THINKING

Thinking of ways how to earn money because I’m seriously broke lately. I’ve been to freelance works like online ESL teaching and face-to-face tutoring job as well as some translation jobs but they’re not regular source of income and I need more finances to support my… uhm, hobbies. I’m planning to apply for a full-time job on October, so until then I have to think of ways to earn cash.

SMELLING

Uhm, the aroma of our dinner tonight? Which is munggo.

WISHING

…to travel this August, September, and October. Actually, I have already laid plans about my trips, booked flight tickets (thanks seat sales!!), and am polishing my itineraries so this is really a goal and not just a wish. But I still wish that everything will go well with my trips and I can push these through without any hassle.

HOPING

I really hope that I could save enough money for my trips in the next months! As I’ve said, the plans are already laid out, flight tickets and accommodations are already arranged; but I still don’t have pocket money for those trips. So I have almost three weeks to save for a 10-day local trip to three destinations and and two months to save up for two-week trip to an international destination. And I still have zero cash in hand. Haha! So wish me luck.

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Credits to Travel Thoughts PH‘s Facebook page.

WEARING

Still wearing the clothes that I wore yesterday because I haven’t taken a shower yet! Hahaha sorry! I promise to take a shower after dinner.

LOVING

My amazing, sweet, and understanding boyfriend. That I am in a relationship is not a news anymore because I’ve already announced in Facebook through my relationship status (hello, 21st century dating) that I am already in a relationship. I did the “online announcement” a month after I gave my YES to him. He courted me for about a year and we kinda dated for five months before I finally agreed to go steady with him. I think this is the first time I mentioned him in my blog. He’s my first boyfriend and so far our relationship is really amazing. Not perfect, but it was rooted in mutual respect, understanding, and friendship so everything’s almost smooth sailing.

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Three months into relationship with Christian and so far everything’s doing so great!

WANTING

…additional art materials like washi tapes and waterbrushes and stationary papers and stickers but meh, I’d probably buy them on my international trip.

NEEDING

Need to improve my writing skills so I really have to publish posts here in a more regular basis as an exercise.

FEELING

Loved. Pak, ganern!

CLICKING

The publish button, I guess?


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Praise You O King of kings, You are ever faithful to me! I cry for joy every time I am reminded of Your boundless love for me, of Your promises to my life, and of Your plans for my past, present, and future. I am a sinner and I am not worthy to receive Your greatness, but Your grace and mercy have saved me. Make me Your instrument O Lord and I shall praise You and proclaim Your name now and forever! ❤️


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I wrote this roughly a year ago

Sure, I am such an extrovert and friendly and loud girl; but I am very careful when it comes to emotional attachments. I don’t get easily attached to people, and I don’t want to have too many people I truly care about. I can count on my fingers the people I am emotionally attached to. I admit that I have trust and attachment issues, and you’d have to earn a deep level of my trust before I could consider myself close to you. You’d have to break into my barriers of defiance before I can truly trust you.

And when it happens I’ll love you truly and deeply. I will care for you unconditionally. I will follow you until the ends of earth. I will be with you whatever happens.

The problem with me is when I care for someone, I care too much. I greatly treasure and cherish these people I am emotionally attached with. I trust them wholeheartedly. I love these people in ways they wouldn’t even understand. It doesn’t matter if I were in a romantic or platonic relationship with them. My level of trust and faith and care and love for them would be unparalleled.

It’s hard for me to love someone, and I am also a person who is difficult to love; but when I love, I love too hard. I love even your most difficult parts. I love so deeply that these people have the power to hurt me. And when I get hurt, my wounds would be unbearably deep; yet I will still continue love you.

Sure, I could be a friendly and talkative person; but that doesn’t mean I am emotionally attached to you. My heart can contain loves that are bigger than me; it can also accept intense amounts of pain. I am just choosing my battles carefully.

(ibcn, July 2015)


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Book Review: Mingaw by Frida Mujer

MingawMingaw by Frida Mujer

Format: Mass Market Paperback
My rating: ★★★☆☆

Binili ito ng kaibigan ko sa nakaraang book drive ng book club ko dito sa Goodreads, ang Pinoy Reads Pinoy Books. Nakuha namin itong libro nung Readercon, at sakto, nandun din ang awtor ng libro na si Bebang Siy (para sa Mingaw, “Frida Mujer” ang ginamit nyang sagisag-panulat), na myembro din ng aming book club. Nung nakita nya kaming hawak ang libro, tinanong nya kung saan namin nakuha yon. Nanlalaki ang mata nya at pabiro nyang sinabi na bata pa daw kami para sa libro (kahit na magbebente na ko kinabukasan nang araw na ‘yon).

Nasa pabalat ng aklat na ang Mingaw ay isang R-18 na erotika. Nang Ginoogle ko ang kahulugan neto, ang “mingaw” ay isang salitang Bisaya para sa deserted (adj.) o lonely (adj.). Kwento ito ng mag-asawang si Gelli at Scott, na nakikipagbuno sa hirap ng buhay-OFW. Napilitan si Scott na mangibang bansa sa pag-asang magkaroon sila ng mas magandang buhay, ngunit ito pala ang simula ng kanilang pangungulila at iba pang problema sa kanila relasyon.

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